Randomness: YuGiOh Style
by guycrazy
Summary: Much like Randomness that I'm authoring for The Outsiders. A series of random SHORT stories about the YuGiOh gang. Some might be funny some might not but I won't know unless you review and tell me. hint hintrated T just in case Love u all! Enjoy!
1. Shrink and a Sandwich

**_Alrighty, this 'story' was-as a matter of fact-inspired by another story on here that I found quite funny called Joey's notes. I've already started something like this for The Outsiders but I couldn't resist when the thought of a wider variety of randomness hit the brain stem. Also I just want to say that I feel Tristan is being left out way too much so I plan on fixing that by author note addings and a few random chapters because that's what this story is about…I'll try to include almost as many characters as I can. Plus, if you have a random idea for a random chapter in a random story and you don't wanna write it yourself just let me know and I'll do the work to put your name in an A/N and let everyone know it was your genius. Now this note is super long so I'll shut-up…for a while. ENJOY MY LOVELY'S!_**

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**Shrink and a sandwich**

Seto is running around in circles outside the Kaiba Mansion swinging his arms frantically. "Get away! Bloody birds get away!"

A squat man steps out of a small, black car and stares in the direction of the screaming CEO. A young boy appears in front of him. "Are you," the man takes a slip of paper from his pocket and reads from it, "Mokuba Kaiba?" The boy nods and his eyes shimmer with sadness. "Well, what seems to be the problem?"

"What! What do you mean 'what seems to be the problem'! Look at my big brother! You're the psychiatrist, you tell me what's wrong with him!" Mokuba growls angrily.

"So that's the patient I'm supposed to be examining then. I see." The squat man rubs his chin thoughtfully. "Well, let's get him inside and sit down with him. If we can get him to talk I'm sure I can figure out what's wrong with him."

Mokuba looks at him suspiciously, then to Seto and back. He raises his eyebrow then shrugs. "You're the shrink."

"We prefer to be called psychological therapists."

"Well I prefer to call you a shrink." Mokuba looks at him through narrowed eyes and speaks in a much quieter, eerier voice. "We're not gonna have problems are we, sir?" The small doctor shook his head nervously. "Good. Then let's go."

Mokuba walked over to the still mental CEO and spoke to him gently. "Seto, there's a doctor here to see you."

Seto stood still for a moment, staring at Mokuba before suddenly screaming in an unusually high pitched voice and diving behind his little brother. "Get them away! They're gonna eat me! Damn birds! What have I done wrong in my past life to deserve this!"

Mokuba took his brother by the wrist and led him into the mansion to sit down. After many screeches and lots of cursing from the piercing noise, Mokuba and the doctor managed to get Seto to sit in an armchair to proceed with the interrogation. Seto sat hugging his knees and rocking slightly as his eyes darted around the room non-stop and he mumbled to himself.

The doctor knelt in front of him. "Young man, I am Doctor Breadenbudder." He held out his hand for Seto to shake but instead, the crazed eighteen-year-old began sniffing it. He stared into the shrinks eyes for a moment before he burst into tears. Mokuba stood next to his brother, rubbing his back comfortingly.

"It's okay, Seto. He's here to help you." The doctor remained in his place until Seto stopped crying.

"Can you tell me what it is that's frightening you, Seto?"

Seto locked gazes with the balding doctor. He frowned. "I'm not answering any questions until I get my peanut butter and jelly sandwich!" He turned and clung to Mokuba, burying his face in his brother's shirt. He began sobbing uncontrollably. "Mokie! I want my sandwich!" he whined.

"There, there, Seto. We'll get you your sandwich." Mokuba assured Seto as he patted his head. "Maid! Maid!" A slender, aging woman entered the room quickly. "Get my brother a peanut butter and jelly sandwich."

"Banana." Seto muttered.

"You want a banana too?" Mokuba asked.

"Peanut butter and banana sandwich."

"You want peanut butter and jelly and banana in one sandwich?"

"No. Don't put the jelly with the banana."

"So you want one peanut butter and banana sandwich and one peanut butter and jelly sandwich?"

"No jelly. Just peanut butter and banana."

"Just one peanut butter and banana sandwich?" Seto nodded his head. He stayed gripping Mokuba's shirting and eyeing the doctor to make sure he didn't get too close. Many moments of silence passed before the maid returned carrying a silver tray with a peanut butter and banana sandwich on a plate. Seto finally let go of the younger boy and took the tray from the maid. He placed it flat on his lap, took one bite of the sandwich and dropped it back onto the plate. He shot out of his seat and threw the tray against the wall, furious.

"I SAID I WANTED AN APPLE AND CINNAMON SANDWICH!"

"Apple and cinnamon sandwich?" Mokuba looked at him dumbly and stuck out his tongue. "Ew." He caught the hurt look Seto was giving him before he whipped his tongue back in and turned to the maid. "Apple and cinnamon sandwich. And I want a glass of milk."

Seto's eyes lit up. "Oh, oh, oh I want milk too!" The maid nodded and hurried out of the room. The doctor still remained patiently where he was.

After Seto finally got his sandwich and milk he sat calmly in the chair. Mokuba slowly inched back toward the couch and sat down. The CEO glared at the doctor as though he had done something wrong. "Um, Seto?" Mokuba asked. Seto's usual cold face turned questioningly to his younger brother. "Are you gonna tell the shrink what's wrong now?"

Seto's face was blank for a moment before realization clicked. "Oh right, no worries it was just a gas bubble."

Mokuba and the doctor stared at him dumbly until they caught a whiff of air, scrunched up their noses and ran out of the room gagging. Seto folded his hands in his lap neatly and smiled, satisfied.

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_**Alicia: Ewwwwwwwww. Well that's the first chappy of Randomness: Yu-Gi-Oh Style. So what did you think? Random right? Stupid right? That's what I do.**_

_**Joey: Guys…(sniff sniff) what's that smell? (covers his nose)**_

_**Alicia: (sniff gag) TRISTAN!**_

_**Tristan: (laughing) I'm not even sorry!**_

**_Alicia&Joey: (run out of the room desperately)_**


	2. Friday's Urgent Warning

_**Alicia: Chapter 2! YAY!**_

_**Joey: This other character is meant to be you right?**_

_**Alicia: Yup **_

**_Joey: Good…I'm not too keen on de strangers bit._**

_**Alicia : No strangers.**_

_**Ryou: Shhh, I'm trying to read this!**_

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**Friday's Urgent Warning:**

It was one of those long boring Friday afternoons where even the teachers didn't want to teach what the students didn't want to learn. So for the last class of the day, the English teacher decided to show the students one of the many movies he has stashed in his desk for an emergency just like this. The infamous group sat together as usual. Tea sat in between Yugi and Tristan. Joey sat to Tristan's left; to his left, his girlfriend, Chrissy. To her left was Ryou. Seto Kaiba sat at the back by himself, mesmerized by his laptop. Naturally, everyone just assumed he was surfing the net for porn.

Chrissy and Joey sipped at a bottle of soda that they had acquired at lunch hour and watched as various morons were destroyed, eaten or just simply murdered by anything that came along. As did everyone else in the classroom. When the video finally finished, many groans erupted from the throats of all who were disappointed to learn that class still had fifteen minutes left. Which was everyone except Seto who was still surfing for porn.

The chatter started. In the group of friends, Chrissy decided that since no one else was going to, she'd start one of her famous ramblings about nothing that no one but Joey understood. The others just pretended to.

And so it begins. "Root Beer would make a lovely flower."

"Ya tink so?" replied the loyalness of Joey's disturbed and mysterious mind. Chrissy nodded. "George has been flying at the computer again hasn't he?"

Chrissy nodded. "She went to the sky and asked about the available rooms. They sent her to the basement. The neighbors mice have been bugging her about her snoring. She told them it was the main course of the meal but they didn't believe her."

"Wow. What did Sherri say?"

"He said that the mice should piss off and worry about their own birds."

"Hm. It's not like doze birds are any better. Dey snore even louder. But it gets real quiet when dey sleep. Almost eerie. How has de dog's cat been taking de news?"

"Well it was going great for a few weeks. But the paperboy has been heckling and now she wishes she couldn't read. It's pretty harsh."

"By da way, Fern has been askin about ya. He misses you."

"Awww that's sweet."

"He's hopin you'll come by to water him again soon. Poor guy looks as though he's about to whither away."

The other four remain quiet and blinked at the two sweethearts, trying desperately to make sense of what they're talking about. Tristan decided to give it a shot. "What about those silver gold earrings that turn into a necklace? Those bracelets must be pretty jealous."

Joey and Chrissy stare at their pointy haired friend. "What da hell are you talking about, Tristan?" Tristan glared at Joey for a few seconds before shaking his head, slightly depressed at the thought of looking like an idiot. But hey, he's used to it. If we didn't love him as much as I know we all do, we wouldn't make an ass out of him for the hell of it because let's face it, if you're always going to be afraid to make a fool of yourself in front of others you're never going to have any fun…and neither will your friends.

"Anyway," Chrissy continued. "I was thinking about tonight. We don't have to have any homework done for tomorrow so what should we do?"

"Well, we could always set off de alarms on Potatoes garage….he seems to tink its mean, but Carrot loves it."

"Sounds like a plan."

Ten minutes left of class. Ryou finally stands up and announces with pride, "I'm going to the Lou! Special trip!" Nobody reacts strangely to this until Ryou is given permission to leave by the teacher.

As Ryou reaches the door, Chrissy and Joey suddenly realize that they hadn't delivered him the most important warning of all time. In unison, the two jumped out of their chairs and screamed to Ryou: "DON'T WET THE MONKEY!"

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**_Ryou:00 I didn't get this at all…_**

_**Alicia: Of course you didn't. You're not supposed to. **_

_**Ryou: Why not?**_

_**Alicia: Becuz this chapter is about Chrissy and Joey. You'll understand it when I make a chapter about you. Okie Dokie?**_

_**Ryou: Uhhh…I guess…**_

**_Joey: I like dis chapter…It has me in it! _**

_**Alicia: I luv you too much to leave you out.**_

_**Joey: (sniffle) I'm loved!**_

_**Alicia: Of course you are big guy. (BIG HUGS)**_

_**Ryou: HEY!...WHAT HAPPENED TO MY HUGS?**_

_**Alicia: In your own chapter Ryou. This is Joey's chapter and this is Joey's hugs. Okie Dokie?**_

_**Ryou: (Sniffle) okay…my chapter better be coming soon.**_

_**Alicia: I don't plan these things Ryou they just happen…**_

**_Joey: (sniffle) Does dat mean dat ure luv for me 'just happened'?_**

_**Alicia: No…it was driven out by ure adorable stupidity. **_

**_Joey: Awww dat's sweet (BIG HUGS)…HEY!...heh, u were joking….right?..._**

**_Alicia: DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW PLZ! THE REVIEW BUTTON FOR ALL MY STORIES SEEM TO BE ABNORMALY LONELY…AND I NEED CONTACT WITH THE OUTSIDE WORLD! PLZ HELP BECUZ U CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE!_**

_**Joey: character bashing is accepted! If u make fun of me I'll cry and get more hugs! PLZ INSULT ME WITH ALL URE MIGHT…INSULT TRISTAN TOO…anyone really it's still me getting da hugs but plz dear god review! **_

_**Ryou: Ya…last time she flooded the house with tears…**_

_**Alicia: Joey…(sniffle) hug plz?**_

_**Joey: (HUGS) Ryou, y'd u hav to remind her of dat again?**_


	3. KO in the Kitchen

_**Alicia: Time for a little of Duke and Ryou! YAY!**_

_**Ryou: You mean you finally wrote my chapter?**_

_**Alicia: Yup!**_

_**Duke: And I'm in it too?**_

_**Alicia: Oh yes. You play an important role in this story…**_

_**Ryou: Well let me read it! I'm so excited!**_

_**Alicia: **_

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K-O in the Kitchen

As Duke entered the kitchen, he noticed the unmistakable grumble of Ryou Bakura not satisfied with the food choice, as his rear end stuck out from behind the fridge door that was held open by one hand while the rest of the body was stuffed inside of it. Duke stood looking over the top of the door, watching Ryou in his failing search for food. "What're ya looking for Ryou?"

Ryou yelped and jumped, evidently hitting his head on the inside top of the refrigerator. He groaned in pain and pulled his head out, glaring at Duke. "What is the matter with you?"

"What? I'm not the one trying to live in the fridge.." Ryou blinked at him then shook his head and returned his gaze to the contents of the object the held all his food…or that's what was supposed to be going on anyway. "So what're you looking for?"

"I could have sworn that we had some pizza left over from last night…"

"Oh," Duke grinned sheepishly. "I ate that…midnight snack."

"Oh…well what happened to the fried chicken?"

"Got that too."

"The steak?"

"Joey got that."

Ryou opened the freezer door."…the ice cream?"

"Joey's."

Ryou shut the door and turned to face Duke fully. "The doughnuts?"

"Joey."

"Chocolate chip cookies?"

"Joey."

"Doritos?"

"Joey."

"Peanut butter cookies?"

"Joey."

Ryou raised his eyebrows. "Sausages?"

"Joey."

"Chocolate bars?"

"Joey."

"Can-"

"Joey."

"You didn't even let me finish!" Ryou frowned.

"I'm sorry. Go ahead. Finish."

"Candy?"

"Joey."

"He even ate that whole ham?"

"No I believe that one was Tristan."

"AN ENTIRE HAM! TRISTAN ATE AN ENTIRE HAM!"

"Well…actually…I…you know what? Now that I think about it, I think it was Joey that got the ham."

"AN ENTIRE HAM!"

"…yeah…"

"AN ENTIRE FRICKEN HAM!"

"I just answered that…calm down…"

Ryou took a deep breath and slowly let it out in an attempt to calm himself. "Well…WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO EAT! I'M STARVING HERE!"

"The grapes and apples are still there…and the carrots and all other fruits and vegetables…"

Ryou stared at Duke menacingly. Duke gulped down the lump in his throat. "You know…if you want I can go order you another pizza just for you…"

"I think that might be a good idea," Ryou hissed.

Duke quickly left the kitchen and ran for the phone to order a pizza for Ryou. While dialing the number to the pizza place, Duke absent mindedly greeted a newly awakened Joey Wheeler who had walked by and was headed straight for the kitchen. Duke's eyes snapped wide open and he turned to warn Joey about the extremely pissed Ryou in the kitchen. It was too late.

(Insert many sound effect words that describe the sounds of scuffles, fights as well as complete chaos and apocalypse.)

Duke slammed down the phone and ran into the kitchen. On the floor in front of him lay a very unconscious, yet seemingly impossibly alive…Ryou Bakura? o0 Joey stood next to the counter chewing happily. Duke cleared his throat and Joey struggled to understand what he wanted. When Duke's eyes shifted pointedly at Ryou, Joey shrugged and said, "Oh, he was trying to eat my pie."

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_**Ryou: What! My own chapter and I got knocked out!**_

_**Alicia: I'm sorry! It's like I said, I don't plan these, they just happen! **_

_**Duke: Heh heh. I liked this chapter…that's so something I could see Joey doing…**_

_**Alicia: Yeah I know…**_

_**Ryou: (sigh) well…do I at least get my hugs now?**_

_**Alicia: (blink blink) Oh right! Of course! (BIG HUGS FOR RYOU )**_

_**Ryou: Yay!**_

_**Duke: (clears throat) Excuse me but I do believe I was included in this chapter as well…**_

_**Alicia: right…(snuggles Duke and Ryou) Can you feel the love?**_

_**Duke: Is that what you call it?**_

_**Alicia: Huh?**_

_**Ryou&Duke: (snicker)**_


	4. Cookie

**Cookie!**

They sat, side by side, eyes fixed on the screen in front of them. She was a modern day sixteen year old girl, him an ancient pharaoh. She was no stranger to the likes of the new machines with tiny people living inside of them. He had only recently begun to entertain himself with the box's mystical and mysterious wonders. He found it amazing that all those little people could fit in there and were always awake and ready to put on a show for him. The girl next to him was a wondrous girl full of life and imagination. She was a strange reminder of one of his closest friends. It was as though she was merely the female version of him.

His feet were propped up on the coffee table, crossed at the ankles. She had her legs bent in a way that allowed her to rest comfortably against the arm of the couch with her feet taking up the space between the two. She sighed as she shifted into a more upright position. She had just woken up a few minutes ago when he had returned from a trip to the store. The girl was small for her age. Average height but rather skinny, almost as though she'd been starved as a child, yet she was full bodied. Small boned perhaps.

He glanced over at her as her movement distracted him from the television show. She glanced back and grinned shyly. He patted her foot lovingly and returned his attention to the magic box. He'd always thought of her as though she were his; a close family member. Perhaps she was. With all that had been experienced over the months, there was no telling how many people roaming the streets were reincarnations of his long dead family. His hearing was brought back to life when the sound her small voice reached his ear. "Pharaoh," She said quietly.

"Hm," he grunted.

"Pharaoh," she repeated a little louder.

"Yes, Cookie?" he replied. Cookie wasn't her real name, but rather a nickname she'd picked up when the gang found out she never went a day without such a treat.

Again, her voice rose a little so she was talking clearly. "Pharaoh?"

"What is it, sweets?" He looked over at her this time. She smiles shyly again and looked back to the T.V. He smiled and arched an eyebrow before also returning his attention to the box.

A few minutes passed and again he heard her voice. "Pharaoh?"

"What?"

"Pharaoh?"

"What do you need?"

"Pharaoh?"

"How may I help you?"

"Pharaoh?"

"Is something wrong?"

"No." He shook his head confused, never averting his eyes. "…Pharaoh?"

He snapped his head to the side "What? In all of bloody Ra what do you want!?" He stared at her waiting for an answer. She began to giggle. "What's so funny?"

Her face straightened. "Nothing, Pharaoh. I'm sorry."

He sighed. He never could be angry with her. "It's alright, Cookie. Don't worry about it." Again he patted her foot lovingly.

Forty minutes or so after, the door opened and in walked a blond male; about five foot ten, thin and well-built. "Hey guys!" he greeted the two on the couch. They grunted their hellos and he laughed at their predictability. "What are you guys watchin'?" They shrugged. Cookie smiled up at him as he moved toward the couch. "Mind if I sit here, Cookie?" he asked, as he lifted her feet, sat down where they had been, and rested them back in his lap.

"Guess not," she replied. He grinned at her with that sparkle in his eyes that made everyone love him. They sat in silence, eating the cookies that were laid out on the coffee table, obviously by the only girl there. Joey Wheeler leaned back against the couch and imitated the pharaoh's sitting position. He stared silently at the T.V, occasionally letting a gag about someone or something in the box. He slid one hand under Cookie's pajama pant leg and rubbed her leg affectionately. They both seemed to be oblivious to the fact that he was even touching her.

In the silence of the room, a female voice made it's way to the ears of the rooms occupants. "Joey?"

"Hm," he grunted.

"Joey?" she repeated slightly louder.

"Yeah?"

She raised her voice a little more so that she was talking clearly. "Joey?"

"What is it, sweeting?"

"Joey?"

He looked over at her soft face and smiled a little. "Is something wrong, Cookie?"

She smiled and shook her head. "No."

"Okay," he replied and turned his head back to the television.

"…Joey?"

He frowned slightly and snapped, uncharacteristically, "What do you want?"

She pointed to the other side of the pharaoh. "Can you pass me that blanket please? I'm cold."

His face softened greatly as he whispered, "Sure." He nudged the pharaoh and asked for the blanket which he then draped over himself and Cookie. "Better?" She nodded and looked sadly into his eyes. He grabbed her hand and pulled her closer to him, kissing her cheek gently. "I'm sorry I yelled at ya…"

She shifted and leaned against his shoulder. "It's okay." He kissed the top of her head just as gently as he had her cheek and allowed her to fully lean against him as they watched the show.

Just as that show had ended and the next one began, a white haired Brit entered the house with a sigh and a shy hello. He was greeted like a true friend and he smiled warmly at the thought of being accepted. He sat himself on the floor in front of the couch and watched the television with the others.

"Bakura?" came the small voice.

"Yes?"

"Bakura?" it said a little louder.

"Yes?"

The voice rose again and was now clear. "Bakura?"

"Yes?"

"Bakura?"

"Yes? What is it, Cookie?"

"Bakura?"

He turned around and looked at her with wide eyes. "Cookie, are you alright? Is something wrong?"

"I'm fine."

"Okay," he said and turned around again to face the TV.

"Bakura?"

He whipped himself around. "What do you want?!"

"Bakura?"

Three, loud male voices screamed at her. One belonged to Bakura, one to Joey and one to the Pharaoh. "WHAT IN ALL THE HELLS COULD YOU POSSIBLY WANT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?"

Pharaoh growled. "If I hear you say one more of our names you are going to seriously regret it!"

Joey whirled on him. "Don't you talk to my girl that way!!"

Bakura stood up from the floor. "Would you stop shouting at each other?!"

Soon enough there were many shouts exploding from the Muto household; all of them male.

After ten minutes of non-stop shouting and punching, Téa, Tristan and Yugi burst through the door. Three pairs of eyes widened at the sight of a rumble in the living room. Cookie remained cross legged on the couch, staring at the television and eating a plate of cookies. She turned her head towards the door and greeted at the rest of the group. Yugi looked like he was going to faint as a vase shattered. Tristan looked at her horrified. "Cookie, what happened?! What's going on?!" She shrugged.

After a long struggle of calming down the three angry boys, all was once again quiet. Joey returned to his place next to Cookie and Pharaoh. Bakura was on the floor; Yugi in an armchair, and Téa and Tristan on either end of the coffee table.

"…Yugi?"

"Yes, Cookie?"

**_DUM DUM DUMMMM……_**


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